Faye (Foxfire)

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #21:

26 February 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

It seems peace in this world is always short-lived. Last night, I walked through the mists again, but something felt different. I kept walking sore and broken. All alone. But...soon those feelings were eased and I was in the meadow. THE meadow. It was just as Ninja and I had left it...It was still so beautiful...still peaceful. I laid down in the grass and felt utterly good...except for one thing. I was alone this time...

I woke up at the Cinnebar Pokemon Center. As I walked out of my room, I spotted Ninja. He told me about some research lab having a bit of trouble. I agreed to go and check it out with him, but we went to Zero first. We wanted him along. Our friend. When we got to the island, we met with Shadow who brought us to Zero. He was sitting and staring out. Ninja tried to help him, then I. I finally got fed up enough to punch him in the shoulder. The old Zero would never let me do that. We gave up for the time being, even though I wasn't quite ready to go and flew back to Cinnebar.

Once there we met up with Sean and headed for the lab. Zero actually showed up! This made me happy. We were getting our friend back...Ninja read the lying scientists' minds. They'd beefed up psychic pokemon with some sort of compound. I wanted to punch both of them, but..we went out to look for the pokemon instead. I managed to track them to a volcano. We went inside and ran into some weaker psychic types. Ninja and Zero took down one, and Sean captured the other. We went into the main chamber of the volcano where it was even HOTTER. I hate heat...it reminds me of fire...Two psychic pokemon awaited us. With Black and all of our dark types, it really wasn't a challenge to take them down. Then Metagross appeared. Along with three of the volcano's pokemon.

We all fought. Ninja took out most of the fire types with Mango's surf. Sean caught me the Arcanine I wanted. Ninja even caught the Metagross! I bet Zero was hating that. After those events, we all went to Lavender town. I managed to track down Mike and get our pictures. I gave everyone a copy then finally looked at my own. I saw my own warm smile, but knew of the uncertainty behind it. Ninja...Sean...Zero...as we were...before Giratina.

Mike joined us and we went for a round of gym battles. Mike loss against the Ice leader. We went to Saffron for my battle. I won. I looked over at the stands. Ninja congradualated me. I saw Zero asleep. Then wake up from some sort of nightmare. (I was just walking out so I barely glimpsed this.) We decided to go to Viridian to check on how its progress at the rebuild was coming along. I wondered about Zero some...I knew it was far too early to call him "all better."

Sean called us over to a tree when we got there. Really. A tree? I humored him because he said there was a mark that looked like Kanto on it and looked. Then, we all passed out. Never looking at another tree Sean points out again. But..Ninja was gone. Ninja...I would find him. And I would save him. There was HELL to pay. I spotted a track of snow and followed it into the forest where we found a base. It had one guard. A Kitsune guard. A tide of black emotion hit me when I saw this man. It wanted me to take me revenge. To slaughter all I found within the base. I put a sleeping dart into the guard's neck and stood over him. I wanted so badly just to kill him...to make someone suffer the way I had when they took away my parents...my home...

Ninja....they took him away too...but somehow this didn't affect me as it did with my parents or my home...It made me worry about him..And remember...not all Kitsune were bad...I couldn't kill this guard...or any other...and I knew it. No matter how desperately I wanted it. I was too soft to do it. Instead, I took his body into the woods then came back to Zero and Sean. We entered the base. No guards at the first level, we went on. And...got caught in a trap I failed to check for. Shadow busted us out. And we went on again. Three more guards were up ahead. Using Demi and Fluffy, I managed to get all three asleep. We stripped them of their weapons.

Tremors rocked the base as we went through it. We heard yelling from down one hallway. The other was covered in water. I wondered why. We investigated the yelling and found Ares. Ninja's Metagross. He used earthquake and killed all of the guards around him while causing an avalanche to seal us in. When he saw me, he called down. We asked him where Ninja was...but he didn't know. He told us that the Kitsune had tried to torture him but he had given them something to worry about. The puddles of water probably led to Hate. We went down the halls and found bodies in the rooms away from our path. Ninja...he was alive...and appearantly...doing pretty well. When we came out of the last room, we saw Ninja being held by a guard. I was about to attack when Ninja called us off. The guard was his mind slave.

Together, we all went to the boss's room looking for Whisper. I knew how much Ninja loved Whisper. It was the same way with me and Black. I took a moment, now that we'd found Ninja to examine my state. I felt steely and cold. I'd felt so satisfied at the dead bodies of the Kitsune...and that made me sick. I was despicable for feeling good about that...I was so..sick of myself...What was wrong with me...? We reached the boss's room. Ninja went in alone at first. Then, he called us in to help. We all came...except Zero. After dealing with the guards, (I wanted to kill them too) I talked to Zero. I begged him for his help. I didn't understand why he would come all of this way...just to not help us...

I went to Ninja's side in place of Zero and took down the guard for him. Ninja finished off the Muk and all three of us (Ninja, Sean and me) faced down the leader, Oiken. He summoned up a Darkrai. Which...was not really good. And Zero still hadn't come...Why Zero? So afraid of being found out? I threw my Aikushi at the wall near the door in anger. WHY ZERO?! We battled Oiken. When things looked awful, Zero actually stepped in and saved Ninja's Hate with Shadow. I looked at Zero. I couldn't tell what to think. Not now at least. We took down the Darkrai together, and interrogated Oiken. He showed Ninja where Whisper was being kept. He attacked me a few times. Gave me a few bruises but nothing serious. Ninja retrieved Whisper. I was deeply happy for him, but I knew what came next.

Ninja, Zero and Sean interrogated the fallen Kitsune guard. I sat by Oiken who'd had his legs and arms broken by Ares. We...needed him dead. I looked at Oiken. I looked at my bowie knife. Maybe...I could do this...if it was for Zero. To keep his secret safe. I was just gathering up enough sheer willpower (the same force that had sustained me when I ran from my nightmares) when Ninja spoke to me. He told me not to do it. But...I didn't want him to either...in the end...I did not kill Oiken. After interrogating their guard, Ninja walked back over. He told me to go on ahead and get us out of the avalanche with Black. I knew he was going to kill Oiken and the guard. He wouldn't let them live. They needed to die.

Ninja and Zero both rejoined us after. We made it out of the base. I was going to asked someone to destroy it, but remembered Ninja's mind puppet inside, and let it be. In the end, Ninja did destroy the base. So I guessed it didn't matter either way. I rode on Joy trying to sort out my emotions. Everything felt so tangled up inside. Hate...mixed with pity...Sorrow mixed with anger...We arrived in Viridian. Sean went into the pokemon center and an argument ensued between Zero and Ninja. It filled me, overwhelmingly, with sorrow. Ninja....Zero...those two shouldn't be at odds.

Zero...why did you come into the base if not to save Ninja? Maybe you did care, but why falter at the last? Why only with Darkrai? Even if you only meant to help....coming in that late in the battle...it brings doubts to the surface. Zero said we didn't understand his pain. Ninja wanted the old Zero back. Zero said the old Zero had died and left. Ninja stormed off to the Pokemon center. Zero...do you really think you're the only one who's lost everything? Yes, I did go through the mist. I lost Sparkz. I gave up so much. And I'm visited by nightmares every single night. But that's not all I've lost in my life...

My parents were slaughtered right in front of me. They were my whole world. And I left alone after that. Completely and utterly alone. The feeling matched what I felt in the mists. So totally alone...for days in the forest, I did not move. I did not eat. I did not live. I just simply was. One day, an Eevee spotted me. I used to play with that Eevee. It was happy to see me and rubbed against me sweetly...but I did not react. I was dead inside. The Eevee, senseing something wrong, disappeared into the forest for a moment and came back with an apple. It rolled the apple to me. I did not react. I was dead inside. Eevee looked at me sadly and went back into the woods...

Hours passed. And I heard a cry of pain from within the forest. The sound jerked me out of my stupor. I stood. Some invisible force gave me the strength to walk. I came upon a clearing and saw Eevee being tortured by a Mightyena. Something took me over. It was probably stupidity. But...who knows? I rushed into the fray and kicked the Mightyena away from Eevee. It snarled at me and charged. It tore up my arms when I tried to shield my face. I kicked it off and it slammed against a tree. It got up, angry, and gave me once passing snarl before deciding I was too much trouble and too little food and took off. Hurt and bleeding badly, I lifted Eevee to its feet and inspected it. It was alright. Eevee rubbed against my legs. I felt warmth enter me for the first time in a long time. The will to live.

I survived. I hunted for food. I lived in the cabin in the forest where I used to live with my parents. I survived. My arms healed and bore scars, but I didn't mind. They only got torn up again by some other pokemon. I learned the Law of Tooth and Claw: Eat or be eaten. I ate. I was not eaten. None of the pokemon called me a monster for doing this. They knew the law too. Still, I had many friends within the forest as well as enemies. I grew fighting off my enemies and earning more scars and sharing my good times with the pokemon of the forest. I shared my food. My fire. My time. My heart. These were my new family and the forest, my home...but that too all went away in a flash of fire...

Kitsune, though I did not know their name at the time, burned down my forest completely and utterly. I tried putting the flames out, but only ended up badly burning my arms. I ran. I saw them. The figures all in uniform burning the forest. I ran. I ran away from them. Demons. Devils. I ran through the blaze trying to escape with all of the other pokemon in the forest. Eevee got trapped in a hole underneath a burning log. I tried to pushed the log off. I burned my arms even moreso. I couldn't budge it. I left to look for a stick I could use as leverage. When I returned, the log had been broken and had collapsed into the hole that Eevee had been trapped in. I dug through the burning coals desperately, choking on smoke. I found Eevee's body badly burned and broken. A form ran out of the flames and collided with me. It knocked me over. It was a Houndour, Black. He was scared and he bit me. I grabbed Eevee and Black and ran for our lives. The end was in sight when two burning trees collasped in our path. Black jumped out of my arms and used his ability to absorb the flames. We escaped the burning forest.

The forest burned down to the ground. I buried Eevee's body among its fallen timber and sat in the soot for a long time. Black sat by my side. Soot fell softly from the sky. I was covered in it when they found me. Kitsune. Black snarled at them. I did not look at them. I was dead again. I'd lost everything...again...how could I go on? The Kitsune members dragged Black and me along. I did not care. They blindfolded me. Drugged me so that I would become unconscious. They trained me. Taught me how to kill. Taught me the skills of an agent. I did not care. When I did poorly as I often did, they lashed me with a whip. I did not care.

One day, I was being force fed (again) by one of the supervisors. He lashed me afterwards for not being able to eat myself. Black snarled at the man as he always did. The man was smug. I overheard two men talking about a forest one day. They mentioned that the girl they found after they'd burned it down was turning out to be a worthless piece of trash. They should just kill her and keep the dog. I went to my room thinking about that. It took me a while they were talking about me. Even longer to realize they were talking about my forest. And even longer than that to realize I cared about Black and what happened to him. An emotion spread through me like it had with Eevee, but it was not warm. It was cold. Ice cold.

I learned. I performed for them. I took the skills they taught me and applied them. I became an agent. But not for them. I became an agent of revenge. They were going to initiate me. Fully accept me into the organization. They told me this like I should be proud. I was not. Black and I escaped. We were not going to stay there. I protected him...and he protected me in turn...We ran to Kanto. Always running. So that we wouldn't be found. But also...to find them. But instead...I found something else...a new family.

Ninja and Zero. They saved me from my dark path...they steered me away from that...and to something better...They saved me again from the darkness that threatened to swallow me up whole. I can't help but think Mew had something to do with my encounter with them. I'd lost everything...twice. But somehow I always managed to find the good in life. I found hope in my darkest hours...Zero...don't think you're special. Don't think you're all alone in your pain. Don't even start thinking its helpless. Don't think that you've suffered more than anyone else...because you really haven't.

Ninja came back out of the Pokemon Center and asked me what I thought. I agreed with his sentiments. We talked about Zero for a while...I was honestly tired with the topic. So we talked about other things. Kitsune. My revenge. Killing. Goodness. I told him about an idea I'd had before while on the island where we defeated Giratina. Of building a home there. It reminded me of the meadow...a peaceful place...where we could live in peace and happiness. Something to look forward to when all of these things were done. Kitsune. Oni. Both would have to be taken down before I could make this dream a reality. The meadow...just isn't the meadow...without Ninja...

Ninja went off to Cinnebar. Obviously, he wants to be by the beach. It's the place where he feels most at ease. Like me and the forest. Speaking of which, that's where I currently reside while writing this. Black has been sniffing the journal page so now its got some wet spots on it. Fluffy is just wandering around by the fireside. Joy encircles our little camp. Silversbane is perched on Joy's side standing a self-imposed guard duty. Chance is up in the trees. Demi is having fun scaring the crap out of Silversbane. Black is sitting by my side as I sit against a tree. He's licking my face now. It makes it hard to write. I think I'll go to bed now. I'll need whatever strength I have for the nightmares I'll face tonight..Back into the mist....Back into the flames...

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #22:

28 February 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Today...was an....interesting day...And as always, it starts with a dream. I had fallen asleep in the forest. It was my mistake. I awakened to flames all around me. Black was gone. Everything was in flames. I couldn't breathe. I ran. I searched for Black and the others. Once, I thought a saw Black and stopped. A beast leaped out from the flames and knocked me onto my back. My chest was cut open. Blood was everywhere and the scenery blurred. I was suddenly in Giratina's world. Zero's broken form lay beside me in a bloody pool. Giratina laughed with malignant glee, and everything went dark again.

Blood. The taste of it. The smell of it...everywhere. I wanted to throw up. Soon the scenery shifted to a gray sky. Flakes of black floated down from the sky and lightly covered me. I tried to move, but nothing could. I tried to call out, but nothing came. Hand lifted me. Large hands. They gently set me into a hole in the earth. Dirt began to fall on me and everything clicked into place. I was being buried. I was in a grave. I frantically stuggle to move...talk...something! But I couldn't. The last thing I saw...was my own face looking down at me. A younger self. But a self who was dead. I screamed. The last bit of dirt fell over my face and the last thing I heard was my other self saying, "I'm sorry Eevee..."

I jolted awake. For real this time. The forest was not on fire. Everyone was here. I looked down at Black. He was curled beside me. I tried to put the dream out of my mind. I would have prefered the mists...Sparkz...Grave...So it was that I went to Lavender Town. I went and stood at the graves for a long time...Zero was there. Ninja came in as well. I wondered if he'd had nightmares as well. I supposed their was no cure for bad dreams...

Ninja went to wait outside. I went over to Zero and spoke to him. He fed me some crap about darkness. I wouldn't hear it. I told him about me. My life. My sorrows and pains. I'd died twice. He was merely on the brink of dying once. Ninja returned soon enough and together we managed to get Zero to pull himself together. It was a great consolation to me...and at the same time...when Ninja spoke of suffering...I knew he meant more than just what we had gone through... Zero and Ninja...they both meant so much to me...I want to be there beside them always.

Outside again, we found Mike playing with Drago. But that's sort of a dangerous game and he nearly got eaten. Crazy kid. We spotted some strange looking people moving through town. I followed them. They turned out to be some sort of psychic cult and Ninja went inside to learn what they were up to. I didn't want him to go...but...he was the only psychic of our group...Ninja...So we waited for his call at the cafe. I had wanted to stay near the house...but...We couldn't bring attention to ourselves.

He called us late into the night and I came running. The others followed. We met in the kitchen with Ninja. I was glad to see him unharmed. Ninja told us these guys were followers of Jirachi the Wishmaker. I supposed they wanted to get their wishes granted. He told us of the only room off-limits in the house. The basement. I found a metal toothpick and managed to pick the lock with it. I put it with my scrap of metal. Some pieces of junk were just so useful at times. I went down alone. It was better that way. I almost got spotted, but managed to find cover. I let the others know what I saw. They came down and, together, we stopped the mad cultists from sacrificing a Gardevoir. They had wanted to free Giratina...or revive it once we told them it was dead with Jirachi and let him create a perfect world. Misguided fools...

Mike and Zero had been under psychic manipulation. Mike had cut my arm, but I got it bandaged when we turned in the surviving cultists at the police station. One more scar won't hurt me. We went to Cinnebar next. Sean joined us. Jenny briefed us on the situation. I sent out Joy. Ninja sent Hate. Zero sent Drago. Mike sent his Sharpedo. We went after Valian. Passing the first two Oni infested obstacles I managed to get myself shot. Twice. It really hurt. But I was alright. I'd live. Ninja called out to me both times I got shot and both times I assured him I was alright.

Ninja...he did one of the most stupid things I'd ever seen next. Stupid, but touching. Very touching. But I will NEVER let him do it again. He rode directly at the next Oni encampment. I was about to jump off Joy and swim after him. I watched him get shot and fall off of Hate into the water. My heart tore itself into pieces at that moment...I tried to catch him...we were too far away...Hate missed...and so did Zero with Kraken! Ninja hit the water. Screaming...someone was screaming...it was probably me. Kraken picked Ninja out of the water. Sean and I circled above on Joy. He...was alive. There were no words to describe the relief I felt...but I had to put away those emotions for now...Valian waited.

We approached the boat and they shot at us with gatling guns. A bullet grazed Sean's leg. I shot a sleeping dart at the man and he went down. We arrived on the deck. I had trouble standing. The wound on my leg smarted. Ninja...how are your wounds...? We arrived just in time to be greeted by three Oni with pistols. I had Chance, Demi and Black out. I sent Chance to knock the gun out of one's hand. Demi failed to put one to sleep. Black attacked and killed a man with the help of Sparky. Soon all were down and Mike managed to take out the man on the other gatling gun. Valian waited.

I retrived a pistol. It really wasn't my type of weapon, but you didn't leave these things lying for someone to pick up. I'd probably trade it in later. We proceeded down a stairwell where we met with two giant steel doors. I had Demi check it out. There was another gun behind the door pointed at it. I sent Demi to try and put the gun man to sleep. But when a rucus arose and she didn't come back I sprinted for the door and slammed into it with Ninja's Razor. The gun opened fire on us, but Razor protected me. We took down the gunner and the other guard with him. Another stairwell lay before us. Ninja..how are your wounds?

I offered to go first, but Ninja wouldn't hear it. So, we sent Demi and Lament to scout ahead. It was clear. We came to a set of doors made out of...some very strange wood. Kitsune had used it in making a cage for Lament, Ninja said. It repulsed everything. So...we had to go in the old-fashioned way. With the door handle. Ninja...how are your wounds...? Valian was inside. He had been waiting for us. Two guards with naginata were at either side of him, but that's not what caught my attention. It was the gunner in the back of the room with another gatling gun. Valian spoke to us. He was going to kill us. Plain and simple. This was something I could not allow. Whatever it cost me, I would not let him kill any of my friends! I'd die before that happened! I thought of a thousand ways they could get away. Most involved myself dying. Ninja would hate the thoughts going through my head if he read them. I knew it too. But I wasn't going to let him die. He meant to much to me...I didn't want to see him die...again...

I came up with a plan of last resorts. A last-ditch effort if all else failed. I would send out Joy and make her take them away. She could hold them in her mouth or hold them in her tail so long as they got away. I would stay. I would fight with Black by my side, and if I died, so be it. Fortunately, it didn't come to this. Instead, Zero and Ninja battled Valian. The stakes involved the lives of our pokemon. If we won, our pokemon would live...if not...we all died. But the three of us came up with a plan. (Mike was knocked out by one of the guards. I think he was bored. Sean had left earlier.) Once Valian's last pokemon was disabled I was to take the gunner. I shot with my blowgun but...I missed! I felt so worthless! But I really didn't have time to dwell on this as a spray of bullets came our way the very next instant.

Fighting broke out. The guards were defeated as was the gunner, which left Valian. Ninja got slashed across his chest. Zero was badly hurt. I nearly got my head taken off. This seemed to make both Ninja and Zero mad. Together, we managed to bring Valian down. Ninja...are you alright? We questioned Valian. He answered. We learned of the Oni Leader, The Orge. Akio Masumara. He also told me about my past. My forest had been burned as a distraction to steal a special nest of dragon eggs from Blackthorn. I put it together before Zero did. Shadow. Shadow and Zero were united at the cost...of my home...my family...I felt sick. My stomach was churning. My home had been burned down...for nothing...All for nothing...my life was torn apart...for nothing...

Valian said more things. He had his points. He made sense. And that's what scared me. I could see myself...not as I am now but perhaps just even a little bit before now. Before I died. I could see myself...siding with Oni... Ninja...are you there...? I'm...lost...I bit back the bile rising in my throat. I covered my face. It was all I could do. Eventually, Valian spat out his last words. Zero tried apologizing to me, but I didn't let him. It wasn't his fault. Nothing would turn me against Ninja or Zero now. I pulled myself together somewhat and asked to take him to the police. Ninja agreed. Zero slit Valian's throat. I was horrified at the time, but that soon ebbed away to numbness. I walked to the upper deck and slumped against the rail.

What was I supposed to do...? To think...? I was hopelessly lost. I was on the edge of despair. I hardly noticed when Ninja came to sit beside me. He asked me to hold together just a bit longer. To be strong. Ninja...you came...thank you...We found a man still alive. Ninja made him drive the boat back to Cinnebar. We turned it in to Jenny but she seemed so disappointed to hear that Valian was dead. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to tell her what we knew...but...Akio was ours. Ours to find. Ours to kill.

We went to the beach after recieving pay. I began building a sand castle. I'd built sand castles before when I had insomnia. Though...they had looked sad almost...and....ominous. But this one...Ninja helped me make it. He gave it a gate. He gave it a moat. I convinced Zero to come and help. He made a dragon for the castle. Heh, it was sorta crude, but I really liked it. It was our castle. Something we'd made together...somehow...I knew I'd always remember this moment.

After all was said and done, we went to the Pokemon Center to get patched up. Having all of these open wounds can't be good for a person. Our wounds were cleaned. Treated. And bandaged. Joy said it'd take me a while to recover, which...stunk...but what could be done? I sat in the lobby with Black for a long time after that...I hugged him tightly and he licked my face sensing something wrong. We'd been so close to death today. All of us. I sit at one of the tables writing this. Black's up on the seat, even though he's not supposed to be. I don't feel very tired, but I feel creeping up on me with an invisible cloak. That's exhaustion for you...When I think about the dreams I'll have tonight, my dread grows...they keep getting worse...Ninja...our nightmares...there has to be a way to stop them...at least for you. If only for you...

Faye's Injured State (At the time of questioning Valian):

SPOILER: Click to show

[Foxfire]

Two entries. Because one is just too long.

Jounral Entry # 23:

4 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Today...is turbulent...but it has a beginning that sort of foretells the rest of the day. And, as always...it starts with a dream. I'm flying on Joy. Gunfire explodes in the air around me. Bullets whiz by. I see Ninja flying on Hate. The Oni men take aim at him. I scream but no sound comes from my mouth. Ninja falls from Hate and to the water. I try to catch him, but can't. He disappears into the murk. A sharp pain in my shoulder and leg send me down toward the murk as well. I hit and it's like hitting cement. Pain takes away all my breath in one gasp. I sink into the murk.

My body is battered. Broken. I can't move. Above, my escaped breath rises to the bright surface and is freed from these depths I find myself in. I want to go back to the light. Need to. But I can't move. I look around for Ninja. He was here too wasn't he? I spot something in the darkness. Ninja? It floats closer so that I may see. My eyes widen. I want to scream. Throw up. Reach out. SOMETHING. But I can't. I'm frozen. I float down deeper into the murk leaving the corpse above. I felt my body slowly going numb. It grew darker...and darker...The numb sensation began to spread to my feet and hands...

Why? That was all I could ask. Soon nothing was visible anymore. It was all darkness. The numbness had spread to my arms and legs now. This feeling....familiar....and cold...why was it so familiar? Was I dead? No...no...not dead. Death didn't feel like this. This was so much worse than death...I felt the numbness consume me. I couldn't feel anything anymore. Only that cold feeling...why was it so familiar? I'd felt like this before...but when...? When...? It came at me all at once. In a rush. I remembered. Remembered everything. The numbness was dispelled in an instant as fear overtook the entirity of my being. I moved. I tried to swim desperately to the surface, but something held me. The last thing I remember before waking up....was....her. "Hello Faye."

I awakened in the Cinnebar Pokemon Center's hospital. I had fallen asleep at a table. I was cold. I tried to shake off my dreams and went outside into the warm sun. I was grateful for warm weather today...I saw the others and greeted them. Ninja was there too. I was really glad to see him...They told me that some Oni were offshore doing something relatively illegal. I had a plan for this. Not to get shot again. Ninja agreed that it was a sound plan. Ninja and I took off riding Hate and Joy. Mike and Zero rode Sharpedo and Kraken.

Ninja and I were the first to come into view. We attacked. Joy was put to sleep though and she crashed down onto the deck. I managed to get off in time. We took care of the people on deck. Divers surfaced nearby and saw us. One ran away. That wasn't happening. I sent Demi to go and stop him. Once all of the Oni were dealt with two giant Wailords came out of the ocean. We defeated those two and brought the fleeing man out of the water. He held an egg. Mike guessed it was the Wailord's egg, but it was actually a manaphy egg. Mesprit appeared before us. She thanked us for saving the egg and took it with her to return it to its rightful place.

Ninja got the man to tell us where Akio was. The Ogre. The man we had to kill. He was in Celadon. We all went to Saffron and prepared for the upcoming battle. I got my first experience at the battle institution. It was fairly interesting and Spinda learned Thunderpunch! We went to Celadon. The man led us to the Oni base. We went down. The mind slave talked to the guards. I tried shooting them...but missed. It erupted into a massive pokemon battle. We won and no one escaped. The guard led us through the base and to Akio's quarters. Ninja told him to wait outside and we went in.

Akio awaited us along with three guards. They were all dressed in samurai armor. When Akio stood, it was almost as though he took up the whole room. He was a man of great stature as well as presence. I asked him some questions. Why did he save my forest? He honored the land. He went on to speak of his family and of honor and tradition. I...sympathized with him. In a different world...I would've even liked him...sided with him...

It disturbed me how he and I were so alike...how easily could I have gone with him? Down his path? Looking back...that Oni that wanted me recruited...how differently would things have gone if...if I hadn't met Ninja and Zero? Heh...both my enemies at that time...and my saviors...what would I do without them?

We fought. Sean, Mike and I fought his guards. Zero and Ninja fought Akio with another guard alone. Mike went to fight a guard alone...I'd warned him to stay back in the beginning of all this! He was impaled by the guard. I sent Chance out on the man. He'd hurt Mike! He was going to pay...one way...or another...The guard fell and I ran to Ninja's side next. Zero was too dazzed to attack. I prepared to help Ninja take Akio's pokemon down, but Akio called me off...It was Ninja's battle...

Ninja defeated Akio's pokemon and Zero had woken up. Time for the true battle to begin. We all attacked. Us, and our pokemon. Akio opened a long gash in my chest. And, at one point, it looked bad. I ran out of weapons to throw and was preparing to attack Akio directly when Ninja and Sean gave me their throwing weapons. They didn't want to watch me get torn to shreds. I appreciated that more than they'd think.

In the end, Akio fell and I took his sword. He asked me to do one last favor for him. Kill him. Let him die with honor. It was a rite of the Samurai. I was horrified that it had to be me...but I had taken his sword. I would do it. Akio stabbed one of his own blades into his stomach. I wouldn't let him suffer. I respected him too much for that. I brought the blade down...and took off his head.

I felt...odd as it rolled onto the floor. I felt like crying. I felt like throwing up. I felt like laughing. All at the same time. This was not the place...or the time to fall apart though. I knew that. I knew Ninja would want me to be strong like before, so I was. I asked Ninja not to kill the guards in the hall. He gave me this, but I could tell he hated to let them live. I felt bad for him.

Everyone cleared out and I dealt with the guards. I told them if I ever saw them again doing something bad, I would kill them. I meant it. They ran away. I went back down to retrieve my weapons and said a final farewell to an honorable Samurai. I went outside. Mike had been taken to the pokemon center. I saw Zero talking to one of the guys I let go. Odd. I dismissed it though, too wrapped up in my own troubles to care too much.

We went to the pokemon center where we got our pokemon healed and our wounds patched up. Mike was already here. When I got out, Sean and Ninja were talking about something. I didn't know what, but...it had to be something about the things that had occured in the Oni base..Nurse Joy came out. Mike hadn't made it. I went outside unable to face the others. It was just...too much to take...

Journal Entry #24:

4 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Why...? That was all I could think as I sat beneath the tree crying. My insides felt all twisted up inside. Like they were being strangled by some...animal. Ninja came outside. He tried to comfort me. I just....couldn't take it. I did manage to stop crying. It wasn't in me to do that in front of others...I tried to pull myself together for Ninja...but Zero came over. He was...trying to encourage me...into killing more...I couldn't understand it. Why was he doing that? My insides writhed in response to his words. At the mention of my "dark side" it seemed like that feeling was going to consume me.

I got sick of hearing what Zero had to say and stormed off. Anger was the only thing I could use to hide my weakness. I didn't go too far, just out of sight. I fell to my knees on the grass and buried my face in my hands. I felt awful...I was so afraid... I felt Ninja reach out to me with his mind. I could always rely on him...couldn't I? I told him...about my demons....how Zero had been right...He convinced me to let him in my mind...so I settled down on the grass and laid down. Black protected my body. But, soon Sean came out of the Pokemon Center and gathered us all up to go get Mike.

We entered Viridian Forest. Ninja sent Nite to go hunt. As we proceeded through the forest, we came into contact with some of the inhabitants. Ninja was tense throughout this. He really didn't like forest, did he? As we went on, we reached a shrine. It was like the one's I'd seen before. Palkia. Dialga. I guessed Giratina must've had a shrine too. Odd how that works out. Sean told us we had to go into the water and we went. It was deeper than you'd guess. I struggled to hold my breath, but in the end, gasped for air. The water was breathable. We swam down further and broke the surface into a golden forest. Celebi's forest.

It was exquisitely beautiful just as I remembered it. I felt at peace here. It was...nice. Sean called for Celebi. A wind blew through the trees. It spoke to us. Told us to step forward and face our fears...My fears...Sean faced his...but it was odd. It was Mew scolding him for returning to the forest. My own fears...my worst fears....personified themselves in front of me...tempted me...tried to lure me in...but I wouldn't hear it. Eventually...SHE went away and I fell to my knees. I felt sick to my stomach. She.....she...Ninja's test...I didn't see. Though he told me about it later. (I'll get to that.) He threw up though...so I knew it wasn't good. Celebi appeared before us and asked me if I truly wanted to bring Mike back. I said yes. How could I not give Mike the chance I'd had? Sean and I opened the gate and Mike came through. We all returned to Viridian. We left Mike inside and Sean went to bed. I went outside and sat underneath the tree again. Ninja came to sit beside me and told me about what had happened during his test.

After a while of talking...we both knew it was time for Ninja to return back into my mind...I bit down my anxiety and relaxed enough to reopen my mind to Ninja:

Ninja arrived in the forest. My forest. All burned down. It rained soot. He couldn't see or hear me even though I stood right by his side. I tried reaching out to him once, before he reached the cabin...but...SHE caught me...and pulled me back. I struggled against her viciously, but her grip didn't give. So I did the only thing I could. I sent Black to Ninja. She pulled me down deeper into the darkness and bound me. I could only watch in vain as Ninja proceeded down into...my past...my memories...She watched me and Ninja, and when the time came, she left me to "deal" with him.

Ninja entered one of the deepest parts of my mind. The time before the fire. He found another incarnation of myself..but I knew who it was. What it was. I wanted to call out to Ninja...something! I needed to warn him! He proceeded further. He went into my old room...I remember it well...my doll was even still laying on the bed...He turned and went into my parents room next. I...I had to close my eyes...I couldn't see that...not again...I heard a hiss and had to open my eyes once more. It was her...

She brought Ninja into one of the scenes that will always haunt me. The burning forest. She threw away the other me. The one that was her puppet. She changed her form. But that didn't seem to daunt Ninja...He brought out his monster to face my demon. His monster...it looked like him...but...taller...hungrier...with fangs and claws. I saw the monster...but...for some reason...I wasn't scared of it. No. Why would I be? It was Ninja. Ninja had never tried to hide this from me. He'd even told me about it.

My demon, my shadow-self...she attacked and danced away. She kept her distance from this monster. She tested him. Teased him. She once threw a branch at the other me. Ninja caught it though and put it down away from the other me. I could hear my shadow-self hiss triumphantly. It had found the opening it had been looking for. This...I couldn't stand. I turned my attention away from their battle and struggled against my bonds with everything I had. I wouldn't let her...! I looked up once during this...to see Shadow Faye on the ground and being stabbed by her own claw. Ninja pressed it through her heart and she melted away. Ninja went to the other me.

I screamed "NO!" And broke free from the chains my shadow had imprisoned me with. I grabbed the other me as she shifted into her shadow form once more. She yelled at me. Screamed at me. And threw me off. Ninja caught her though, and held her in place. I lifted up Akio's sword, Dawn's Tears, and thrust it through her. Shadow Faye. She winced in agony...and was gone....defeated..

I stood very shakily. I was...free...but it was hard...to grasp..that...Ninja asked me if I'd seen...it. Yes. I had. Everything. And all throughout...I'd been worried about him. I changed the scenery to the meadow...We talked. He asked about his monster...the one I'd seen. I told him the truth. I didn't care. Ninja was Ninja. And nothing would ever change that. I'd always stand by his side. No matter what. We talked for a long time. Talked about...a lot of things...parents...the training...Kitsune...a lot of things.

In the end, we decided to sleep where we were. Under the tree in the real world, in the meadow in the mind world. Wherever. It didn't really matter. Maybe one day I'd be able to convince Ninja to go on an actual camping trip. We slept. I was completely at peace...no nightmares...no dreams...Only peace and a great relief. I slept better than I had in weeks. What lies ahead I know I can face if Ninja is by my side.

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #25:

10 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Camping. I finally managed to go camping with Ninja. It took a while. But I finally convinced him! We woke up at Cinnebar. It was a bright new day. I got dressed feeling a bit foggy from the night's nightmares and went out into the lobby. Ninja came out too soon and asked what I'd like to do today. I thought about it for a moment and it came to me. Camping. When I suggested it to Ninja...well, he reacted pretty much like I expected. He was not too excited about it. But that was ok. I was excited enough for the both of us!

We raced on our Gyarados, Hate and Joy, to Viridian. Hate left us in the dust to begin with, but Joy and I just seemed to be catching up...when Hate took off ahead of us again. I arrived in Viridian later than Ninja. I was sour at him, but we both laughed and blew it off. I challenged him to a rematch. A race through the forest! Heh, this made him think twice. But we postponed the rematch to go look for a camping spot.

We went down one of the side paths in the forest and a beehive dropped down in front of us. Yup. A beehive. It fell to the ground in front of us and we had to deal with some angry bees. A combee and a beedrill. We fought them off quickly. Both of us...sorta forgot to bring food along. Ninja scooped up some honey in a jar though, so now we had something sweet. I looked around for some sign of water...but found nothing.

Ninja and I walked on. Ninja found a prime camping spot! There was even a river nearby. We went about setting up camp. Ninja got the firewood and I made the beds. Once that was done, we went fishing for supper. Ninja caught a Poliwhirl...but its kinda...odd eating something with a face...so we battled and threw it back. I got fed up...and went into the stream myself. I dove underwater to fish. And...I caught a Crocnaw...Which was not happy about me grabbing it.

The Crocnaw threw me on land and chased me. I thought it was gonna eat me. But Ninja threw it into a tree which collapsed on it. Whisper killed it and Chance dragged it back to the campsite. I was...a little bit tense after Crocodile wrestling, but I didn't let it show. I was determined that Ninja would have a good time! I went to go get some sticks for the spit. I was still wet and Ninja offered me his jacket, but I had my sweater. I didn't want to get his jacket wet.

I went out into the forest and found some branches that looked great. Ninja had sent Whisper with me and I had Chance. Chance cut down the branches. I noticed a little lost looking teddiursa and two nidoran, one male, the other, female. The two nidoran were picking on the Teddiursa and I intervened. I held the Teddiursa up keeping its claws away and nudged the nidoran away with my foot.

I was too busy to notice the Ursaring until it was too late. It barreled out of the forest roaring in fury. It slashed my arm holding the Teddiursa. I cried out in pain and dropped it. Whisper and Chance prepared to attack the Ursaring...but a Nidoking and Nidoqueen appeared. So...we ran. I kept looking back. The Ursaring was on a total rampage. I lost sight of the Nidos. I ran and ran...and fell over the edge of a cliff. Chance caught me though and set me down. Whisper jumped down. I looked around for a place to take cover. There was a crevice in some rocks. I ran for it and stuffed Chance and Whisper inside first, then just managed to squeeze in before the Ursaring collided with the edge of the cliff.

I was bleeding a lot...and the ursaring was tearing the cliff apart. It seemed like all I could do was sit there. It had us pinned! Ninja...Ninja didn't even know about this...it looked grim. But then..the Ursaring turned and attacked something else..I was confused...until I heard his voice in my head. Ninja! He'd...come to save me...Punctual as ever. Heh. Ursaring was defeated. And Ninja and Black dug me out. I climbed out and asked him about the other two pokemon. But he thought I was talking about Chance and Whisper.

I told him they were with me but then...a roar cut me off. The Nidos had arrived. Chance took a fire punch from Nidoqueen though and burst into flame. We managed to finish them off though. Thankfully. Ninja told me to go get Chance to the PC. He'd secure the campsite. I flew away on Joy. Chance...would live. Thankfully. I headed back to the campsite. Ninja patched up my arm for me using some shreds of clothing from his bag.

We sat down and talked for a bit and then Ninja went to look for branches...without my blood all over them. Good plan. He came back quickly and we started cooking the Crocnaw. We were still hungry though...I left to find some berries...but came up empty. We decided now was the time to eat the honey. Ninja tried first...and dribbled some onto his shirt. I tried..but some dribbled to my chin. Honey was a pain, heh.

Soon our meal was done and eat started to dig in. But...something was watching us...it turned out to be two Eevee! They were hungry too. We fed them some bits and pieces of our meal and they snuggled up next to us. It was really sweet...reminded me of...my old friend..I showed Ninja how to make smores next. Ninja...he really liked them! A dessert sandwich he called it. It made me happy. We moved onto campfire stories. Ninja told me this really sad...but at the same time happy story.

We set off for bed then...with one final warning from Ninja to be careful around Kitsune. I intended to be...but...when the time came..I would finish the Fox. I'd do what I had to...but enough of that. I feel...very warm...so I'll keep this warmth and carry it with me into the world of dreams. The nightmares will come...but I'll be ready.

Journal Entry #26:

11 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Today...Today was difficult for me. We hunted Kitsune today..or more...did their dirty work. It sickened me, but...I guess it was a necessary evil. I woke up in the forest with Ninja and we'd gone to Saffron. We met with Zero just outside of the weapon shop. I went in to pawn off all the weapons I'd collected over the weeks. I got a fair price for them. I headed back outside to learn that Kitsune had given Zero a new mission.

We had to help Kitsune to get Zero closer to the Fox. I hated it. So much. Our first target was a ship. It was a military ship. Zero...Zero had to sink it. But I didn't want him to without the people being off first. So Ninja and I went in first. Ninja infiltrated the ship first disguised as a marine, then let me in. We took care of the Captain and his first mate and made them evacuate the ship. After that, it was all Zero. Kraken attacked the ship while Zero watched. But, someone spotted Zero and fought him. Zero won though and the man died. An innocent man...

That was said and done rather quickly and we moved on to the next target. A greenhouse in Celadon. We were supposed to burn...to burn it to the ground. .........So we went and formed a plan. We would have two trainers with fire types stage a battle and burn it down. We went out to the route and found a boy, a girl, and a man with fire types. I battled the boy and Zero battled the girl. Ninja took over their minds and we went to start this. Zero led us to the greenhouse. The two kids followed him from afar and Ninja and I followed from behind. Zero left for the pokemon center just before they began to battle.

Burning the greenhouse...I felt...sick...like a monster...like...I'd become the very thing...I hated the most...as the greenhouse burst into flame, I had to look away. It was so...familiar...and so alien at the same time. Familiar for the flames. Alien for the point of view. I was utterly disgusted by what I'd helped to do...but we had more work to do. The next on the list was an Oni General. Oni...I'm...not sure how I feel about them...Akio.....

We went to Saffron again. I decided to be bait for some scum. It was likely at least one of them would be an Oni. I told Ninja and Zero to hang back. I went into an alley in the...nastier side of town and hid my weapons. I attempted then to look lost and confused. I thought I was doing a pretty crappy job, but some idiots took the bait. And...then...I attacked. I managed to avoid taking any damage from their counterattacks. Ninja and Zero arrived next. We made short work of them. One of them turned out to be an Oni grunt. I questioned him myself, and then we left for the outskirts of Saffron.

I found a man. He looked a little out of place. I went to talk to him...but...without anything to say...it kinda fell apart. Ninja came up before the man walked off and read his mind. We headed to where they were hiding, a white run-down farmhouse. We went in the cellar and came into the house through it. We took out a sleeping guard with another sleep dart and headed upstairs. But...one of their cohorts came home and noticed our work downstairs. We were blown. So, we attacked. I shot my sleeping dart into one man's back. It was the same man I'd talked to earlier. We attacked. I cut a man's pistol with my sword. Ninja managed to knock away his man's gun.

But...Zero got...shot. Twice...first in the chest...then the back. He...he didn't get up...I took down the Oni I faced and the one that shot down Zero. I think..I killed them...? I don't really remember...it was all...kind of a blur...Once the battle was done, I went over to Zero. I barely heard Ninja tell me to bring him to the pokemon center. I had Chance carry him and ran for all I was worth. Everything passed as a blur until we got to the center. I had Chance carry him into the ER and then waited. Well...paced. It was all I could do. Otherwise I'd explode.

Zero...Zero...was he going to die?! It was all I could think about. Ninja hadn't come back yet either. I worried that something had happened to him to for a paralyzing second, then realized the likely reason he wasn't back yet. I paced on, consoled for the time. Ninja did eventually come back. I was relived but it really didn't show through all the worry for Zero. Joy came out to tell us the verdict. Zero would live.

I almost collasped out of sheer relief. I went over to a table to sit. Ninja came over and Zero shuffled out of his room. We were glad to see him. We all talked and it almost seemed like it was about to break into an argument. To which, my response, was banging my head on the table. We did not need this now. Truthfully, it was the last thing we needed. Ninja took the hint I'm guessing because he stopped the argument before it started. Zero went off to bed and so did Ninja. I stayed out in the lobby to think about the day.

No one had died today. Except Oni. Oni...whenever I think about them...Akio comes to mind. I have to push him out of it to deal with them like enemies. Akio...even now...I respect him...but I can't let that get in the way of what I need to do...to fufill my promise to him...and to myself. The ship...while I feel bad about that, I'm glad no one was hurt...except that man. It was still miserable to go through...then the greenhouse...the fire...I feel like I'll throw up in disgust. How could I do that?! How could I help with that?! Ugh...I feel so...sick...but...it's getting darker now...and everything feels a bit numb...I...think....I'm...falling...asl....

Journal Entry #27:

12 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

I woke up today...mostly in one piece. I was in the pokemon center lobby though. Black was at my feet. Chance and Silversbane looked out at the rest of the lobby. Guess...I'd fallen asleep here...Ninja came out into the lobby and I looked over to him. I was still half-asleep. We exchanged words and Zero soon came out as well. He was looking better. Kitsune had invited him to a mansion in Saffron. And...he was supposed to bring us. Fun. It was so a hit. But at least we were ready. I still wasn't too comfortable walking right into a trap.

So we went and reached a hill. A carriage came screaming down it and four Kitsune came out. Someone called Mr. S invited Zero into the carriage. They took off and left us to deal with the Kitsune. Unfortunately...they had selected people specifically to take us down. But, we took them down in the end. Barely. We headed back to the pokemon center to get patched up. Zero gave us updates. He was needed for one more job. He had to blow up a building full of people.

My...initial reaction was something close to total shock, then refusal. I told him not to do it. But he was stupid and was adamant about us not going to Mr. S's mansion. I pleaded with him for a bit, then gave up for a while. Those hours in the pokemon center were some of the worst I'd ever spent in the history of the world. I was just going to sit by and knowingly let all those people die? NO! I pleaded with Zero again and we came up with a plan. Kill the Kitsune. Clear the building. Blow it up.

Ninja and I went to get appropriate clothing. We stopped at a formal wear store. Ninja was led off to get a tux and I went with the manager. I told her I wanted a dress with sleeves. We were going to a party and I couldn't attract too much attention. Of course...the lady looked at me with pity. ....I hate it when people do that...I didn't need their pity....But, I was used to this kind of react from before I learned to cover my scars in public. I could brush it off. I tried on two dresses and went with the black one. It had slits in the sleeves but it was better than the other dress. The lady gave me a jade necklace and bracelet as well. We bought the clothes and changed into them. Ninja looked like a prince charming. But it was so different from what I was used to that I had to suppress a laugh. Never in a million years did I expect to see him in a tux. Still, he looked very handsome.

We left for the party and caught a couple along the way. Ninja convinced them to give us their tickets and we were on our way. We made it inside and formed a plan with Zero to hit the Kitsune in the basement. The inside of the manse was amazing...it was beautiful. People mingled and danced...Something I'd never be a part of. It was too...strange to be there for much longer and Ninja and I made a beeline for the cellar door. We descended and met with the Kitsune. We took them out quickly. Ninja went up above to clear the building. I looked at the fallen Kitsune. Zero had...wanted to keep one alive and teach her what it was to live outside of Kitsune...Sometimes you forget...that Kitsune are people too....But I can't think like that or I can't fight. I can't kill. They were simply....the enemy.

Ninja came back quickly enough and we all escaped the mansion as it blew up. Ninja and I changed out of our clothes once we got back to the pokemon center. Zero went to report to Mr. S. After a while, he said he was going to meet the Fox. This was...an amazing chance. The opportunity we'd been waiting for. As soon as Zero told us where, we took off for Fuschia. We arrived at the pokemon center. I felt a wellspring of raw emotion well up within me. I shook a little. It really couldn't be helped. I told Ninja I was nervous. And...I guess I was...somewhere within that tempest...

Zero told us who the Fox was. Kiyo. The gym leader. THE GYM LEADER. When he spoke...he seemed against...her death. She had obviously seduced him. It couldn't be too hard though. Zero had been hitting on that girl the other day. At least, that was my guess at things. Even that girl Kitsune he vouched for. Oh Zero...that was probably his greatest flaw. We formed a plan anyway. Zero went along with it. Both Ninja and I were deadset. Kiyo would die. Tomorrow. Zero went off to bed I guess. Ninja and I talked for a little. He told me to get some sleep and that I needed it. I said I would get some sleep and went into my room while he went into his.

I sat up for most of the night sorting out my emotions. Making them hard. Kiyo would die by my hand. Everything she did...she's done...would be avenged. I would fufill my promise to Akio. I would protect Ninja from being hunted by the Kitsune. I would free Zero from the Fox's clutches. I would do all this. I would give my life for this. I was ready to die. I was dead. I laid down robotically and forced myself to sleep. It would soon be morning.

Journal Entry #28:

13 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

I rose with the sun. I dressed. I was ready. I walked out of my room and waited outside. Today was the day. THE day. It was all. Or nothing. Ninja...Ninja came out and spoke to me for a bit. But I was not the same Faye as yesterday. Not right now. This Faye was the Avenger. We waited for Zero. It took him a while and we sort of had to tell him exactly when to do it, but we got the "go" from him soon enough. They were trying to escape to Saffron. Ninja and I rode Hate and Joy. We caught up to the carriage soon enough. It was time.

Ninja and I attacked. Hate sent out a torrent of water at the carriage while Joy's earthquake took out the other axels. The carriage stopped and we jumped off. It was time to end the farce. Kiyo climbed out of the carriage along with Mr. S (I'm guessing), Zero, and a guard. I took on Mr. S. Ninja took on the guard and Kiyo. I knocked Mr. S out eventually. Kiyo had been attacking Ninja the whole time. Ninja had made the guard kill himself. Zero did nothing. After the two protectors were down, I moved in front of Ninja. She was...NOT landing another blow on him!

She laughed at me. I didn't care. I was resolved to kill her already. She attacked. I moved and parried her strike, dealing a severe counterstrike. I attacked next and dealt her another blow. She attacked next, but I countered and caught her again. She spoke all the while. About...my scars....about Ninja and Zero...She said...she'd..let me watch while..she killed Ninja and brought Zero over to her side...I attacked again before she could say more. I didn't want to hear it! But...this was my mistake. She parried my strike and drove her Sais deep into my shoulders.

Pain...I could barely stand...but at least...she was the same way. She spoke again...about how maybe she's reverse that...I could watch while Zero died and Ninja was brought over to her side...She said...afterall...look at her and me. We clashed one last time. She parried my strike and she cut my arms to ribbons. She kicked me in the chest and sent me stumbling backwards. I was absolutely exhaughsted. She attacked again, but...with the last ounces of my strength, I drove Dawn's Tears through her stomach.

Kiyo fell and died slowly. I watched her die. Toward the end...my resolve finally began to waver. Everything...began to rush at me all at once...I couldn't think....everything dissolved into a blur. I felt arms around me. It was Ninja. I think I cried...but I don't remember... I felt hollow...and yet...there was turmoil...so much...a tempest of...everything...Everything...I don't remember much...I remember Ninja. I remember falling...or rising...I'm not sure which... I remember getting up...or laying down...I don't know... I remember the suggestion of going somewhere. Somewhere...the island? I remember sleep. Everything else...is just a blur...

Darkness. Voices...then faces. My parents..alive and well...glowing with childhood love...and again dead...but still glowing...in that barren desert world. Then gone. Darkness. A new face now. Eevee. Glowing brightly with the same childlike remembrance. Then again...in a red glow of a blazing forest...then gone. Darkness. Another face. Familiar and yet so alien...Shadow...then gone. Darkness. Akio. The scarred samurai. Gone. Darkness. Kiyo. The Fox. Gone. Darkness. Rochelle...once in life...then in death...gone. Darkness. Zero. Once as I knew him...once after Rochelle had gone...and once as I knew him now. Gone. Darkness.

The darkness grew to be a comfort...I couldn't face the light of those faces...their eyes...I drew comfort from the darkness. It was a safe place. Safe from the faces. Safe from the light. Another face...rising out of the murk. Who was it? This one didn't glow...with that light...that all the others had. I waited for it to start glowing...so that I could sink back into solitude...but it did not. I scowled. Why wouldn't it go away...? I looked at the face. The darkness was thick....and features were hard to make out...it was familiar...and warm. I struggled to see it now. Who was it...? It began to sink back into the murk. I tried to reach out to it...I didn't want it to go!

Faces burst out of the darkness all at once shining with their awful light. The assaulted me from all sides leaving me writhing in agony. Their stares...it was all...too much...to take...I close my eyes...and it's dark again. I feel arms lift me up. I open my eyes to see the face again. Still shrouded by darkness...I felt safe though...I close my eyes again. The arms lowered me down and I felt as if I was flying....but I didn't want to be alone...not again...

Light. I woke up in the ICU of the Cinnebar Pokemon Center. I didn't know how I got there. I felt oddly light...Joy noticed I was awake. I asked about Ninja. I remembered him...She told me he'd tried to sneak in to see me, but hadn't done such a good job. Heh, Ninja... Only family was allowed to see me. Ninja was family. I gathered up all of my strength and shuffled out of bed. I found Ninja pacing in the lobby. I called out to him as best I could. He saw me, came over, and hugged me. I hugged him back. Ninja...

Zero came in soon after. I was glad to see him. We talked for a little while, then Ninja said something about the island. I...think...the island? I...remembered it...We went there and made a fire. There wasn't too much to talk about. The whole...enormity of the fact...that...everything...was done...still hadn't hit me. Or had it..? I remembered the crushing feeling...the totality...of it...when it had hit me before...I dug through my pack and sorted through old memories...and finally made a bed for myself out of my pack and my cloak. Whatever would come could hit me in the morning. For now I was going to sleep. I curled up by the fire happily and fell asleep with the knowledge that Zero and Ninja were there...and would always be there...

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #29:

15 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

The greater part of this day was great...its start...Well. It started with a dream. I was floating in darkness again...but I wasn't alone...I could feel the same comforting presence as before...he was here with me. I went on into the darkness with that comfort. The mists enshrouded me like they always do...but then...something quickly goes off. It smells like smoke. I want to stop but I can't. The smoke is heavier now, I need to cough but I can't. The smoke darkens and flames roar all around me now. I can't breathe! I'm...suffocating...! The presence though...I feel it with me. Helping me by just being there.

I walk on and stumble through a burning forest that quickly shifted to a blackened one. It's all dark again...the trees covered in ash stand out...but nothing else does...except..! There it was! The presence...it was shrouded in darkness like it had been before, but I was so glad to see it! I ran toward it. Too bad I forgot it was a nightmare...

As I went toward him...a flash of red flashed before my eyes and I fell back hitting the ground hard and knocking all of my breath from my lungs. I managed to sit up in time to see what had attacked. A fox. It charged me again and sunk its teeth deep into my shoulder. I cried out in pain. It attacked relentlessly tearing into my arms, hands, shoulders and back. I collapsed onto the cold ground feeling my warm blood pool out on the ground. The fox came to rest in front of me.

It laughed a high feminine laugh and charged the one thing that gave me comfort in this god-forsaken dreamworld...and snatched him away. The presence was gone...It was hers now. I cried out and struggled to rise. Blood...it was...everywhere....I almost stood but slipped in blood and fell again. Another laugh rang out through the darkness. The fox appeared before me again...with...with...no...it wasn't him...this...this was...I didn't have more time to think as a sharp agonizing pain lanced through my leg. Again. And again. This torture continued. The fox smiled at me all the while.

I didn't know how long it had been since the torture began. I'd long since lost my voice for the screams and now merely lay limp in the ever-growing pool of blood. I had to spit out the blood every now and then. Every breath was stolen by another gasp of pain. The fox looked bored after a while and approached. The torture finally ceased. The fox leaned low and whispered into my ear, "How does it feel, Faye? I told you...you'd get to watch...I told you..I would take him."

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes to stop the tears. I spat into the fox's face. She snarled in fury and sunk her teeth into my shoulder and bit down hard. I heard it first then felt my bone snap. Pain...too much...the blood swam before my eyes. I was sinking into a sea of blood...I felt a sharp point on my back. I only managed a whimper and a plea. "P-please..." The point slowly sunk into my back. The pain was utterly indescribable...excruciating was...an enormous understatement. It would make many men wish for instant death...As the point sunk deeper and deeper into my back, hot tears welled up in my eyes and I felt a pain more excruciating than anything physical. I sunk into the murk. Blood...pain...my face was wet with my tears....wet with blood......wet with.....

I opened my eyes to see green grass and the first rays of morning light. My wet was still wet though and I felt my like my insides were screaming. The pain...hadn't died with waking. I wanted to throw-up...I wanted to die....But I couldn't. Ninja...could be around...He wouldn't worry...about me..I sat up carefully. I went to rub my eyes and felt the wetness. Ninja was there. He said my "protector" had woken me up. I...was unsure. Ninja cleared it up for me. Black had licked my face. No...no blood...The dream...was as though it had really happened. I wanted to check myself for wounds for the gashes, but I knew they wouldn't be there...only the wounds Kiyo gave me...were still sore...

I resolved to keep the dream from Ninja...he didn't need to know...We decided to go shopping in Saffron. A good idea since we'd need supplies for the house. I put on a good face. I'd gotten better at it over time and this time it was out of necessity. Though. I'll admit I did feel like Ninja would see through it all with one glance. I felt obvious, but I had felt that way before back when I was trying to lure out those scumbags back in Saffron, so I guessed I only felt this way because I knew it was fake.

We flew to Saffron on our Gyarados. This gave me a little time with my thoughts alone. The world...it looked too beautiful..too bright and radiant...I felt...too...filthy...ugly and wretched to feel like I was supposed to dwell there. I looked at my scars...my history...and for the first time felt ashamed...and then disgusted with myself for feeling that way. We arrived in Saffron after a long while and I put on the cheerful guise again. For Ninja's sake.

We went to clothing stores and went clothes shopping. We stopped at the outdoors place and actually got some camping supplies as well. We went next to a place called Cold Subtopic. There was...a....a lot of weird stuff in there. I sorta hung back. One guy was playing with a nunchuck. Two women were fighting over something. Ninja picked out some clothes and went over to them. He broke up the fight and sent both women packing. He came to me with the shirt they'd fought over. I took it feeling the first genuinely good feeling since this morning.

We looked around a bit more then went to the register. This repulsive clerk was sleeping on the counter. We woke him up and got our items checked out. He was eyeing...me...strangely...I was still too numb from the pain to care at all. He asked me for a kiss. To which I would've answered with a gesture. (Putting my kaiken at his throat and telling him to back-off.) But Ninja's solution worked too. He threatened to kill the man with his brain. The man stopped harassing me after that and we went on our way.

We went to the Costume Warehouse next. It was filled with costumes. There was even a clown suit. That was when I discovered Ninja didn't like clowns. It made me smile. Really smile. But then, the dream would come rushing back if it didn't stay at the forefront of my mind. We left without buying anything and went back to the outdoors place. The shop keeper, Jack, was glad to see us again. We got tools for the house and a few contacts for construction. We went to the book store next and bought some books on how to build houses.

It was getting late now though, but the day had passed mostly in a dark blur for me...expect for those moments...when I was truly happy. We flew back to the island on Joy, since Hate had gone earlier. We made it just in time for the sunset. I sent everybody out to explore the island, but Black stayed with me. Ninja, Whisper, Black and I all went to the Western end of the island to watch the sunset. Ninja...was glad he met me....I felt the same...He talked about Kitsune and the path...he had been about to take...how his monster would've been allowed to go free like that...The path I would've taken...had I not met Ninja...the result...none of that mattered. We had each other now...we were alive. Giratina...the Ogre...the Fox....had fallen. We were free. Free...And yet...

Hunted...Free...yet hunted...stalked...taunted...tortured...this is what I felt...Was this...how it was supposed to feel? No..I didn't really think so...but it wasn't something I could face alone...but I wouldn't drag Ninja into it. So I would bear it. I just needed him by my side...his support to force me to bear it..to hide it from him...just a while longer...I want Ninja to be happy more than anything else in the world right now. I don't matter.

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #30:

18 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

I can barely write. I can't even speak anymore.

I woke up early from the same nightmare that's been haunting me since Kiyo died. I threw up, but buried it so Ninja wouldn't notice. I sat by the fire and waited for him to wake up steeling myself for another day like yesterday. Except it wasn't like yesterday...it was much worse. Ninja woke up and I wore the same happy guise as yesterday.

We went to see Sally, a girl I'd saved on the cruise ship that I died on with Ninja. She was well and I was glad to see her that way. It was here we met up with Mike. It seemed he was still suffering from his trip to the underworld...He suggested we all go on a cruise. That sounded very nice...I knew Ninja would like it...but it was not to be.

Some random group of lowlifes had decided to take the ship hostage. Not this time. That wouldn't happen again. I dove into the water and climbed aboard with Chance's help. I took out two guards with Demi, but got caught when I tried to look into the captain's cabin. That was alright though. Ninja and Mike were on their way.

After the relatively short battle we went downstairs. The slave tripped and a commotion arose from the rooms off to the side. Which was wonderful...We all ran to either hide or get away. With that crisis averted, we attacked. Ninja and Mike took care of the goons while I went after the leader. He had the gun on the captain's head. I had Demi knock it out of his hand. I battled him, protecting the captain until I finally managed to get the man unconscious.

I walked the captain halfway then stopped and looked in the room that Ninja and Mike were in. I grabbed an unconscious guard while Ninja went off to...finish some business. I took the man to Jenny then turned around and went to wait for Ninja...Ninja...Ghosts of pain rippled through me at the memory. Hakai, a former hostage, came to sit next to me. He seemed like a nice guy, a bit spacey though. I was grateful to him though. For keeping the nightmare at bay. Ninja came back faster than I had expected.

We got our reward from Jenny, then headed to the pokemon center. We learned at Hakai here. His past and everything. I went to "clean up" in the bath house. What I really needed was time to be alone and release the emotions I'd kept locked up. I threw up...I gave in to the corroding memories and let them consume me. I don't know how long I sat there. I heard Ninja in my head and quickly went to pains hiding the memories. I tried to convince him that I was fine..but I don't think he believed it.

Black actually came into the bath house and dragged me out of it. I got aggravated and stormed outside. I sat on Joy and Ninja and Mike left for Saffron. Hakai rode with me on Joy. Ninja and Mike hadn't waited for us so Hakai and I talked for a while. He was blind. Who knew? He told me the story of how he got blinded. An awful tale, but nothing I would gasp with surprise at. I'd seen far too much of the world for that.

Ninja and Mike came back after a while. Ninja suggested we go to Lavender to eat. Hakai had to leave. I had difficulty eating my food. It all tasted like ashes in my mouth. I sat outside with Black for a while. I accidentally dozed. I had to relive the dream and I woke up in time to come face-to-face with Ninja. We went to the island together after Mike had left for the pokemon center.

Once we arrived...Ninja made me sit down and try to tell him what was wrong. I...I couldn't get the words out..which only left one option. Ninja had to go into my mind.

The dream started like it usually did. In darkness. I couldn't see anything else around. I proceeded into the mist. Into the flames. And saw that still familiar presence. I ran toward it as I always did, but always with the same result. I was attacked by the fox. She attacked again and again. I was left alone for a while...I knew this was a dream...and...Ninja...should be here to...I looked around for him. I saw someone...he came into focus. It was Ninja. I called out to him.

He asked if I could see him. Had...he..been here the whole time...? He came over. Tried to help me, but it was no use...then she reappeared. She taunted. She teased. I begged Ninja to leave now, but he refused to go. Then he appeared. The other Ninja. The one what was the fox's puppet. The one...that didn't know me...

They both attacked. The fox attacked Ninja and the Kitsune Ninja...came after me. I closed my eyes. The pain...Ninja...please....don't let her hurt you...please be alright...Time passed...And soon Ninja...my Ninja...was at my side. He couldn't save me. He knew it. I wanted to hold his hand...I looked into his face for as long as I could. Ninja...don't...don't be sad...Everything started to fade. The last thing I saw before everything went black was Ninja...

Cold...I feel very cold...I'm not dead...I know what that's like...It's...getting warmer now...warm...I opened my eyes slowly...I saw Ninja. Ninja...I felt tears gather up in the corners of my eyes. Inside a war took place. Worry. Happiness. Sorrow. Relief. All were at war with one another...I tried speaking but my throat was dry. I couldn't get my lungs to work right. He gave me some water and I just managed the basic levels of speech.

We went to sleep soon enough. Ninja would wait until I was willing to talk about it. He turned in. I stayed up for a while to think. I watched Ninja sleep for a little while. My dream...it...it...Ninja...Ninja....I couldn't bear to see him suffer because of it. I need to talk to him about it...as soon as possible...My dreams are not hard to guess at tonight...but it'll different this time...I won't be the victim...

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #31:

19 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Blood. Darkness. A crushing weight. A black world.

I woke up this morning with Black's help. I climbed out of our tent to get ready for the day. I shook off the nightmare as best I could. It was easier today. I hadn't been as helpless as I had been before. Ninja and I took off for Lavender to get some breakfast. Zero arrived at the same time we did and we met Mike as we went into the cafe. I ordered some food as did Ninja. We talked for a bit, then Ninja reminded Zero about the Pokemon League. He had to challenge it. We flew the the League.

The gates themselves were absolutely amazing. Ninja, Mike and I bought normal seats though they had a pretty good view. The crowds in the stadium...it seemed like all of Kanto was there. It was overwhelming...After Zero's first match, Ninja and I went to get some snacks. Ninja got funnel cake. I got this weird stuff called "cotton candy." It looked like a cotton ball, but when you ate it, it melted in your mouth! And it was sticky...I fought with it but only managed to get myself covered in its stickiness.

Zero won his next match. I went to go clean up. Ninja was being a pest and overreacting to my stickiness. I wanted to poke him badly, but I decided to get cleaned up instead. Lucky for him! I came back and sat just as the next match was heating up. Zero won this one too. Hakai actually arrived and sat next to us. As the champion match went on I narrated for him. He was blind and all. It looked bad for Zero from the start of the match, even though Shadow smashed through two of the champ's pokemon.

In the end, Zero lost and we all headed out. We gave him encouragement when he finally came out. He was taking the loss better than I thought he would. Good on him! That's the way Zero! We all went to Vermillion next to watch Mike get a gym badge. I'd given up on the Pokemon League and the badges by this time. I mean really. Zero lost and he's the best battler out of all of us. Besides, my ambitions didn't really lie in that direction in the first place. It's...kind of odd not having a direction. But at least I have a goal. To build a house!

We went off to Saffron and the battle institute. I taught Silversbane Air slash. That would help him more than Wing Attack in the battles to come. Zero and Mike also tried to teach their pokemon a move. Both lost sadly. Zero started talking about having a snowball fight. I was game for that! Winter sports! I knew Ninja wouldn't be too happy about it though. We went to the Sea Foams and scaled the mountain we'd fought the Oni at. As we went, Mike slipped, but Chance caught him.

We made it up a good bit of the mountain and finally came to a grove with lights in it. Some pokemon were having a snowball fight! They invited us to play with them. Zero and Mike chose Sneasel's team. Ninja chose Snover's team. I didn't want Ninja to be outnumbered, so I went over to his side. We battled it out in a fierce snowball fight to the death! (Not really.) Ninja and I won! We were just celebrating when a pack of snowy white Mightyena interrupted the game.

Well. It wasn't like we could go a day without some kind of trouble finding us. That would be against the law. We took the pack down quickly. The pokemon we'd played with rejoiced. Our team came up to Ninja and I. It looked like they wanted to come home with us. Ninja picked Snorunt. It made me smile. I picked Snover. It was my adorable little snowperson now!

We all headed for the island next to turn in. We started a fire. Ninja and I gave our sleeping bags to Zero and Mike. I was used to sleeping on the ground. I wasn't too sure about Ninja but he'd given the bags away, so I assumed he could tough it out. Everyone settled down. I talked to Mike for a while. He was having insomnia like I had back earlier on before I'd learned to deal with the nightmares. Poor Mike. He passed out in front of me. So...I guessed that was...good...

I went over to Ninja and sat by the fire with him. It had been a long day, but a good one. My nightmare had gone to the very back on my mind. It was creeping up again now that all of the commotion had died...Ninja spoke to me in my mind again. He wanted to know what it was all about. I couldn't blame him. The Ninja in my dream...belonged to Kiyo...it was not my Ninja. After I'd told him that, Ninja told me I had control. They were my creations...we could beat this. Or die trying.

Ninja delved into the darkness again. I descended down...and woke up to see Ninja. He tried to help me up but...he started to fade away...I reached out to him but my hand passed through him. He focused and used his psychic powers to make himself solid. This dream world...had layers...Or so it seemed...Ninja helped me up and soon she appeared. Kiyo. The Fox.

Black chains came out of the darkness and ensnared me again. Ninja and Kiyo fought while I struggled against the chains. The more I moved, the slower Kiyo got. It was extremely difficult to even move...but I had to. Kiyo summoned the dream Ninja before Ninja could stop her. He came after me. I just barely dodged his blows each and every time. I couldn't fight back. It was a struggle to even survive.

Ninja yelled at the Dream one. I looked to see as well. He a defeated Kiyo. He snapped her neck. Dream Ninja just smirked. Then he pulled me over to him. There wasn't anything I could do to stop him! Ninja tried to pull me away from him. It felt like I was slowly being torn apart. My joints popped and I felt something inside rupture. I cried out in pain and coughed up a wad of blood. Ninja let me go and instead tackled me to the ground. He tried to shield us but it wasn't going to be of any use. I knew...there was only one way...we could end this. I told Ninja to let me go...

...and flew to the other Ninja to be impaled on his claw. I latched onto his arm through all of the blinding pain and held him. I cried out for Ninja. This was his only chance..! He screamed and came charging in. He tackled the other Ninja. I felt his claws slide out of my stomach. I crumpled to the ground with all of my blood gushing from the stomach wound and out onto the ground. I tried desperately to staunch the bleed but it was hopeless. I just barely managed to rise to my knees. Every movement caused the blood to fall even faster, but...I needed to see Ninja...I couldn't...wouldn't die...not without being able...to see Ninja one last time...

I called out weakly and Ninja came to my side. I was so...relieved to have him there beside me...he supported me...And hugged me as I began to feel myself slip away. I was fading fast...I knew it...but I couldn't leave Ninja alone..not like this...With the very last ounces of my strength, I shifted the scenery to the meadow. It was all I could do...before I faded entirely...and sunk into the darkness that called me...but something...something brought me back. Healed my wounds...

We hugged each other. It was all we could do at first. We decided to sleep there in the meadow. We were lying by the fire in the real world and that was as good a place as any without our sleeping bags. I still felt weak, but extremely relieved at the same time...I laid close to Ninja and drifted off into sleep there..

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #32:

25 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Dreams are the gateways into our pasts. Or so they say. Sometimes it seems like they almost fortell the future. It's been like that for me before. In my nightmares. But this entry isn't about nightmares for once. It's about memories and the past. Ninja's past. And happiness.

It had been a long day. Sam Jax was good on his word and came by to examine our little island. He spent the whole day at work and Ninja and I did our best to help. I went to water the saplings before supper as Sam was leaving. Ninja had once promised me that he'd let me see his past. That had been back when the shadow was still around...We ate and then returned to the tent preferring it to laying outside. After we were settled, Ninja pulled me into his mind...

I'm not a psychic, so Ninja had to be my guide through his memories. Not that I minded. I was glad to have him by my side. The first memory he showed me was one from his childhood. Ninja...he was so cute back then! I wanted to tell him so, but...it wasn't the time or place for that. I saw a boy named Aki who was Ninja's friend. He was pulled into the river by the current and sent Ninja for help. Ninja went slowly, but he did go. The teacher dove into the river after Aki who was gone from sight at this point and brought his body ashore. I felt...sad for little Aki...the spark of his life exstinguished before he'd even gotten a chance to live...Little Ninja peered over his dead friend's body...and I recognized...it...

We returned to the median of darkness. There really wasn't too much to say...I was worried about Ninja. It faded to scenes of high school, an...experience I'd never had. Ninja was talking to his friends. One told him about a girl that really liked him. He went out with the girl which...surprised me. I would have never thought...Anyway, I watched the memory Ninja and his girlfriend, Mona, go about their school life with Ninja. She kissed him which also surprised me...Then the scene shifted to Mona's house. She was crying. The memory Ninja walked inside having been called there and I watched the exchange between them. It felt...bad...I felt bad for Mona...and Ninja...and for being there in the memory...The scene shifted one last time. It was a funeral. Mona was dead. Words...couldn't...wouldn't describe how I felt. I wanted to close my eyes and run away, but the scene soon faded and Ninja and I were alone again...

Mona...Mona had become close to Ninja...and she'd died. Not that death scared me. I'd been there before. I don't care what happens to me. I just care about Ninja. I don't matter. So, I asked if Ninja needed a break, but he wanted to push on. Goldenrod was our destination. Even though I'd lived in Johto, I had never been outside of Blackthorn before, but it looked like every other big city I'd seen. It was smelly too. We were in an alley. It was Ninja's first real kill. I steeled myself for the experience. The man Ninja killed...deserved what he got, and...initially...I had little pity for him. But then...he begged for his life...whimpered for it...I...had trouble watching it all. I wanted to beg Ninja to just finish him off...but it..it was just a memory.

We returned to the dark median. The next memory he showed me was his last kill...before he'd met me. A girl died. An innocent girl. At the hands of the man Ninja would kill. I wanted to...to..stop the man...but there was just...nothing I could do. I hated it. Being helpless...I just couldn't stand it! Ninja returned us to the dark median before he really began to kill the man. I...It took me a minute to recover from that...But...I saw the road Ninja had been traveling...and its destination. Him.

I wanted to meet him. I could tell Ninja was against it...but he gave in. Honestly, I was apprehensive about meeting it...I'd seen it only once before...but there was no way I could let Ninja or it know that. I was back in Goldenrod. Back in the alley. It was behind the dumpster. It was...devouring the mugger. I spoke up and it turned to face me. It knew me. He'd actually wanted to talk to me for a long time. I was surprised. Appearantly, I'd stirred things up...in my attempts to help Ninja. It laughed and told me about Ninja. How he was broken missing both heart and conscience. But I didn't believe that. At least not everything. Ninja had a heart...he cared. I knew he did. I even asked him his name...but he didn't have one..well, at least not until he gave himself one. Famine. I asked him how he and Ninja were related. He put it in base terms...but I got the gist of it. It was horrible...but it was a part of Ninja and...I'd have to accept it as well. And I would. Did.

The conversation eventually ended and I left Famine to the memory. Soon, I was back in the dark median with Ninja. I was so relieved to see him...I wanted to run to him...but...the monster was still watching...it was too soon...so I settled for talking with him, but...Ninja...he was so...sad...I wished there was something, anything, I could do. Something! I still felt so helpless and pathetic...Ninja wanted to show me something. His happiest memory. But I needed to see it from his perspective. I closed my eyes and saw the night after Kitsune had been defeated through his eyes. I felt everything he had...and how happy he'd been...

The memory was over soon. Maybe too soon. I was touched...Ninja..had been happy. I'd felt his happiness. It made me feel...genuinely happy. I felt warm..I finally came to realize..that I'd helped Ninja...if only a little. It made me feel so good to have had a hand in making him happy...that meant more to me than anything. I'd give anything to see Ninja that happy everyday. I'd give everything!

After all was said and done, Ninja made a place for us to sleep. I bounced into bed. The warmth permeated my whole being. As I began to drift off into sleep, I thought briefly about what Famine had said. I would prove him wrong. I'd save Ninja...I'd make sure...he was happy....Ninja...

----

Today was fairly tame. As far as our days go. I got to ride in a submarine! We woke up on the island and headed out for Vermillion. When we got there, we went to the docks and I met Dr. Ishitake and Ai. They were scientists. Or Ishitake was. Ai was his assistant. They took us down to the sea floor in this death trap they called a Submarine. It wasn't so bad. Until we went underwater. People weren't supposed to breathe underwater! It wasn't natural!

I held onto my seat for dear life. But...as nothing bad was happening...I looked out of the window long enough to be awestruck by how beautiful everything was. The ocean...it was a whole other world. But it wasn't mine. I didn't breathe water. We descended into a kelp forest. It was fairly amazing and I actually started to enjoy myself. Until they told us we had to go outside...

They had these suits. They were extremely hard to get on and as I donned my helmet, I felt a sense of forboding. We all swam out to catch specimens for Dr.Ishitake. It didn't take too long, and we were soon back in the questionable safety of the submarine. I enjoyed the ride back up a lot more than the trip down and soon we were all back in our world again.

We went for lunch at the cafe and talked about Zero's upcoming Pokemon League challenge. Ninja seemed a bit off...I guess he has a lot on his mind. The day passed mostly in a blur until everyone decided to head back to Vermillion. Joy was resting, so I took the train. Sean came with me. We talked for a little while and he gave me a special pokeball. When we got to Vermillion, we ran for the docks. I figured that was where everyone else would be.

We met with everyone and Dr.Ishitake at the docks. Ai was missing! We were going down in dive suits because she'd taken the sub. Dr.Ishitake took us out on the dive boat and stopped above the kelp forest. We descended into the depths with lights attached to our helmets. It was getting really dark now.

Deep in the blackness, we found a trench with the submarine in it. Ancient sea pokemon attacked! We managed to fend them off and got the submarine to the surface. Mike, Zero, and I entered the submarine to check on Ai while Ninja and Sean left to tell Dr.Ishitake. Ai was unconscious but breathing. Zero read her diary. And lied to me about doing it. Smart Zero. Dr.Ishitake came in and woke her up just a bit. We returned to shore and Ninja went off to bed and Sean went on an errand.

I didn't have a way of getting there easily...Mike offered to take me on Lapras. A note fluttered down from the sky. Sean was challenging us to a race? Oh bring it! We took off on Lapras and raced for the island....and beat Sean there. Wicket was carrying a stone though and that's why. It was a sort of plaque for the time we'd defeated Giratina. I talked to Mike for a little while then went to sit down by the beach.

Talking to Mike had reminded me of the nightmares. Ninja was probably having one right now...there had to be something I could do to help...Mike and Ninja went through so much agony because of those nightmares...there had to be a way to stop it...I hated feeling so helpless. As I looked up above at the stars watching over us, I felt...comforted. I went to the tent and laid down staring into space for a while until the dark abyss of sleep claimed me.

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #33:

26 March 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

As the sun rose, so did I. It was painfully early when I awakened. I was tempted momentarily to go back to sleep..but..I wasn't going to give the nightmares a second round today. Ninja was still asleep and, as I looked at him, everything that had been worrying me for the past few days rushed at me all at once. Ninja..I needed to do something for him. These past days...ever since we'd gone into his mind together...He's been..off. Mona...Mona was bothering him...I want to make something for him. I'd had ideas about it last night but...It was really too late to do anything and we'd all had a long day. But this was a new day.

I wrote a note explaining where I was, and laid it where I slept. I took care not to disturb Ninja. This was going to be a surprise! As I walked out on the island, it seemed everyone else was asleep. Then, I saw Sean. He was awake. I wanted to go somewhere...somewhere I could find something for Ninja. Ninja liked the beach...so maybe there was something there. Sean flew to Cinnebar and returned with Turtle. Mainly, so I wouldn't have to go alone and get drenched. Riding Turtle was fun and soon we arrived at the Fuschia beach. We met with this very nerdy looking guy. He had a dowsing machine and told us how it detected hidden object. Neat.

I asked if he found anything yet but he lied. Heh. It's sort of fun when people try to lie to me. I called him out and he told us of something over by the bluffs. But pokemon had scared him off. Sean and I went and encountered a Kingler and a Tropius. I liked the Tropius and caught it. We proceeded onward until we came across something shiny. And a Swellow. And a MONSTROUS Crawdaunt. Looks like we're getting an early start on our quotas. Sean caught the Crawdaunt expertly and I beat up the Swellow with my Fluffy. We found the shiny thing was a metal box. It was locked so I tried opening it with my toothpick. No such luck. We took it back to the nerd and he found a way to open it. He thanked us and lent us his dowsing rods. I had the first go of it and found a Deepseatooth. Looking at the tooth, I realized exactly what I wanted to make for Ninja. A bracelet!

We scoured the beach. Sean got some neat things, while I gathered up shark teeth and some pearls. Soon, I figured I had enough. Sean was done by this point and we gave the dowsing machine back to the nerdy guy and thanked him. I got a string for the bracelet and had Sean bore holes in the teeth and pearls since I was liable to break them. I threaded the string through and tied it off. There it was. Ninja's bracelet. I felt giddy. I couldn't wait to give this to Ninja! Sean and I headed for the Pokemon Center and got all of our pokemon healed. I switched Tropius onto my team. I could use him to fly around. I wondered vaguely if Ninja would like him...I wasn't sure though and it was god-awful early. I decided to take a nap at the Pokemon Center regardless of what dreams might assault me. I was tired.

When I woke up, it seemed like a whole day had gone by when it really hadn't. I'd only slept a few hours and had a night's worth of nightmares. My punishment for waking up early I suppose. It was still morning. I instantly thought of Ninja. Had he been awake long? Had he read my note? Too many questions and not enough answers. Sean and I decided to head for Lavender's cafe. They'd turn up there eventually. It was almost a sure thing. And they did. We all ate breakfast there, Zero, Mike, Sean, Ninja and I. Then, we decided to set out for Vermillion. I sent out Tropius to Ninja's surprise. He really seemed to like Tropius. I offered him a ride and he immediately took me up on it. I could tell he loved it. That made up my mind to give my Tropius to him.

We arrived at the docks and went to check up on Ai and the sub. Ai looked good, but the sub was in need of some parts. So, they sent us dumpster diving in the junkyard. Fun. It was even more hilarious when Sean brought along a wet suit. I pretended I didn't know him. The others did too. Sean justified it by saying he wouldn't be stinky. Right...and that's so much worse than being seen in public in a wet suit. Anyway, we all dug through the trash. Sean caught some pokemon and Mike seemed to be having the most luck. Ninja got cut by a nasty piece of glass though. He washed it. I was going to offer him my bandages, but he took out some scraps of ruined clothes and used that.

Once all the parts were collected, we returned to Ishitake and Ai. They paid us and we headed to Saffron for a shopping safari. We went to Cold Subtopic first and that guy was there. The one who'd eyed me before...Ninja wasn't too happy to see him either. We shopped around, but I picked out nothing. So, I stood in line with Ninja. I approached the counter first and I felt the slimy clerk's eyes crawling all over me. Then Ninja came up and scared him off. I was extremely grateful to him for that. This clerk made me feel REALLY uncomfortable. We all went to a really upscale looking clothing store next called "Posh." Sort of a prim and proper name. I picked out an outfit that my poor fashion sense said looked good and bought it. I tried it on and looked at myself. I felt odd in a skirt and odd in a blouse. Odd overall. Sean looked goofy dressed up as a detective. Ninja looked...dashing in his outfit. The fidora was a bit much though. At least in my opinion. Ninja complimented me on my outfit. I felt an embarassed blush coming on and had to look away to hide it.

We decided to stay dressed as we were me in my girlish outfit, detective Sean, and dashing Ninja. Zero bought...ah...an...interesting wardrobe...I almost pretended not to know him either. Almost. We stopped by the TM and weapon shops too before heading back out to Vermillion. Ninja rode with me again.

Dr.Ishitake and Ai were just finishing repairs on the sub. They'd found signs of an underwater city and needed an escort. Who were we to refuse? We all piled up in the steel death trap and descended into the deep again. It was a quiet ride. And very dark. Again I was struck by the ambivalence of simultaneously hating and loving this ride. We approached a sunken city in the darkness and I was struck with awe. We entered a temple and learned of the legend behind the city. It's destruction. As we entered the temple, Relicanth and treasure were all around us. Sean caught a Relicanth. Zero eyed the treasure. I eyed Zero balefully. Stupidity was not going to get us killed this time.

We surfaced inside the temple. An enormous dome of glass swept out all around us. The ocean whirled and danced across it. It took my breath away. Stone statues twice our size lined the walls of the path to a pillar of water that soared up from the floor to the ceiling. A blue orb waited within. Dr. Ishitake took it despite our cautions. Something bad was going to happen.

And it did. A trio of Milotic burst forth out of the pillar as it collapsed and attacked us. Zero and Ninja took one while Sean, Mike and I took the other two. Zero and Ninja finished theirs fairly quickly. We were in a bit of trouble with ours, but I caught one and Sean caught the other with a masterball. The temple began to collapse. Most of us made it through alright, but Mike and Sean got caught by falling stone slabs. Mike was unconscious yet again and Sean was pinned. I ran back out to help Sean and sent out Chance while I was at it. But..we weren't needed and all of us made it back to the ship alright. I was relieved, but we weren't quite out of it yet. We managed to avoid falling debris, but we rose too quickly and had to go into a decompression chamber.

Everyone was ok and the danger had passed. I breathed out a sigh of relief. How could Ishitake do something that stupid?! He was a scientist! He was supposed to be smart! I let it go though. It didn't matter now that everyone was safe. Ninja seemed frustrated about something though and I looked at him curiously. He told me what was bothering him. Me. I'd caused him a lot of grief by going out there again..and he was right, I'd been careless. But I just couldn't help it..I needed to be there. To help Sean myself. With my own two hands. I knew Ninja was angry though and promised to be more careful. Though, how long that would last...

Anyway, we returned to shore soon enough. Zero and Mike hit on Ai before we left. Which...was...interesting to watch, though I did feel bad for Ai. Zero took off for the pokemon center opting not to camp out with us. Sean flew back to the island ahead of us and was asleep by the time we arrived. Mike, Ninja and I stayed up late into the night talking about the blue orb and Kyogre. Mike finally opened up to us about Hoenn, but shut down again when we hit a little too close to home. He opened up again when we started talking about legendary pokemon.

I also gave Ninja his presents. First was Tropius. I told Ninja that Tropius was his now and handed over the pokeball. Ninja...Ninja looked a...a bit...blown away. It took him a minute to take the pokeball from me. It made me smile. He was so surprised! I was so happy. Later, during our talk by the fire when Ninja had regained use of his words, he asked what I did with Sean this morning which reminded me of the bracelet. I'd totally forgotten when I had seen Ninja's reaction to Tropius. I took it out now white shark teeth shining out in contrast of the black pearls and gave it to him. My heart felt full to bursting as I handed it over to him and watched his reaction. Completely and utterly happy is the only word I can use to express how I felt at that moment. Absolute happiness. Ninja thanked me again and again, but he'd already give me enough thanks. I was truly glad he liked it. But again in the tent just before we drifted into dreams, he told me just how much it meant to him...And as I fell asleep, I floated above on cloud nine...being the happiest I'd been in my entire life.

[Foxfire]

Journal Entry #34:

1 April 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Warmth. All around me. Pressing closer. Dots swim before my eyes and shapes come into view. Water too...I was under it. Drowning. Leprechauns...stealing what was in my pockets...chocolate. No...my chocolate...They ran into the golden meadow and I ran in pursuit...I tripped and fell into the rabbit hole. Shot through the barrel of a gun like a bullet, I rocketed forward into a circus tent smashing into a giant clown's giant banana cream pie. I trudged through the pie and came out into a magical candy wonderland...a giant gumdrop monster slammed into me and pinned me against the candy cane poll. It licked my face but I punched it away. This made me fall into the magic swirling chair that traveled up the candy cane poll. Up and up I went...until I was in a very dark place red stuff fell from above and burned into me like searing hot coals . Then, I woke up.

I was still burning and I felt indescribably weak. I had fever...Ninja had woken me up and I did my best to dissuade him from thinking something was wrong...but...Ninja's a little hard to fool. It didn't help when Sean pitched in encouraging Ninja. Ninja felt my forehead before I could back away and found out. He lectured me about being honest with them and letting them help me. I grudgingly obliged...this time. Next time they would not even be able to tell. Therefore, not lying. I accepted some wet rags from Sean reluctantly and we all took off for Vermillion, me riding with Ninja.
The weather quickly got worse. It was like a typhoon. I was afraid we were going to get zapped out of the sky. Ninja took us down and we all dashed to the lab as fast as we could. Zero nearly strangled Ishitake and I tried to get him off. Eventually, he settled down and we all set out to replace the orb. We went out on the research boat. The seas were rough and the rain fierce. I think it could have been cold, but I couldn't tell just then. I was burning. As we progressed through the storm the rain pounded harder and harder until it actually hurt. Kyogre surfaced. We fought and Sean caught it using a masterball. I jumped off of the boat to look for Ai and Ishitake who had fallen off.

We got them up out of the water. Ishitake revived Ai and we rode back to land. I had chills now. I couldn't stop shaking. I was so cold...We flew to Saffron to buy new clothes. The wind in the air froze me even further. I began to feel a little sleepy...but I fought it. It would be bad to fall asleep...Like this. We got there and bought some new clothes. I put on everything I had that was dry. I was still shivering. We went to go eat next. I really didn't have much of an appetite. I was about to give Black my soup when Ninja caught me. He made me eat my soup...darn him. But it really did help me...so I suppose I should be grateful.

I walked outside and took of the majority of the clothes I'd piled on leaving a long-sleeved shirt. I felt hot again. We all went to Cinnerbar after that but Fudo had no answer for my question. Darn...he said he'd keep looking into it though, so there was hope. I had to know if there was some way. At least for Ninja...after that, Ninja and Zero had a battle to prepare Zero for the league. I cheered Ninja on. But...Drago got hurt really bad and almost died. That took the fun out of things...I'm glad Zero doesn't have to suffer through the pain of losing more than one pokemon....Like me.

We went to Saffron again and saw a land developer talking on the phone. He wanted an old farmer to sell his land to him. I didn't like him too much, but we agreed to help him. We went to the farmer, but he kinda slammed the door in our faces. Which made me not like him too much either. Ninja wanted to just convince him to sell the farm, but I wanted to hear the guy out. He told us his story. I...I didn't want him to have to sell the one thing that made him happy. So we decided to help him. We cleared another space for Akari and got him to install the plumbing and electrical on our house. It would cost 200,000P. The farmer agreed to help us with a garden. Yay!

Mike dropped out to the island after this and Ninja and I went to get some seeds from Celadon. I grabbed the flowers and trees and Ninja got the fruits and veggies. We headed outside chattering about the house when we bumped into...HIM. I was horrified to see him. I wanted to run. Hide. Get away. The man scared me. He ran away, but Ninja stopped him dead. Ninja...he wanted badly to kill him. Very badly. I..I asked him not to though. He didn't want to. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do, but he did.
When we arrived at the island, Sean and Mike were already asleep. Ninja was fuming and I tried to calm him down. I managed it after a while, and we sat to talk about somethings. Ninja needs to kill...It's something I've accepted...but it doesn't make it any easier to bear. If this man died, it would be my fault. All because of me, someone would die. I didn't want to feel that...We turned in for the night. I'm not sure just how I felt...relieved or worried...I couldn't tell. I descended into dark dreams soon enough though, eradicating whatever I felt until morning.

Journal Entry # 35

2 April 1891

SPOILER: Click to show

Today was bad...very bad for me. It begins with a dream. It was him. He was there in my dreams. Yesterday's encounter had shaken me a little I guess...He came at me. I ran and ran...and ran. Away from his stench. Away from those sausage fingers. I could never seem to get away. I was so afraid...He was always right behind me. He grabbed me once and crushed me against his huge belly. I tore away from him and ran again. I didn't look where I ran, I just ran. I ran off the edge of a cliff and fell in a crazy spiral down toward an ocean of sweat. I splashed down and began to sink downward drowning in sweat. I clutched at my throat. I was burning hot, then freezing cold. I couldn't breathe! I sank further down into the madness, his face dancing around me in an insane fashion like a demented jester. I shut my eyes to close it all out and curled up into a ball....I felt something touch me and opened my eyes to see...the madness had gone. I was sitting on the ground enfolded by the mists. The first time I was glad to see them.

Two figures moved through the mist. One was very fat and one was much leaner. I shivered at the fat one. Though it was larger and obviously had more effort moving around, the lean one could not catch it. They both passed out of sight soon enough and I was left alone. Totally and completely alone. Just like it had been when I'd first woken up in the underworld. Trembling, I curled up and hugged my knees close to my chest. Tears stung my eyes and streamed down my cheeks in hot ribbons. A sob tore itself free from my throat. I sat there sobbing for the longest time. I was so scared...and so alone...

I woke up afterwards. Ninja wasn't in the tent, but he'd left me a note saying that everyone had gone to challenge the league. He'd left me asleep because he thought I needed it. I smiled at that. Yeah. I needed nightmares. Still, it was thoughtful of him. I tucked the note away and traveled to the league. I'd missed the first match, but wasn't too late for the second. Ninja waved me over and I waved back happy to se him. I pushed the nightmare to the furthest corner of my mind and tried to enjoy the battles. Zero had a close call on the second. He really didn't have his head on straight or seemed not to at least. The next battle he won more definitely. During the intermission, Ninja went to get me some cotton candy while Mike went to get some food for the three girls he'd picked up. Hakai was there too, which was nice considering I hadn't seen him in a while.

Hakai and I chatted until the others came back. Ninja had actually gotten me a funnel cake too! Yum. But first my battle plan for the cotton candy. It was going to have to be delicate and precise. I took out my Kaiken and cut off of small piece. Then, very carefully, ate off the knife. No stickiness. Victory! I'd figured this cotton candy out now! I put it out of its misery then started on the funnel cake as Zero began the champion match. Zero made some stupid mistakes. The crowning one being switching out Shadow for Kraken. He just gave Roc's Salamance time to dragon dance and become so much faster than Shadow. But Zero won. I was profoundly happy for him. He got swarmed with admirers though, so we all met in Pewter to decide our next plan of action.

We decided to go eat in Saffron. Zero chose this..."western" place that was supposed to be based off America. Something...something must have leaked. A gas. Fumes. Something. These people were not right in the head. This whole restaraunt was a crime against nature and many other things. The food was BEYOND awful, but the salads looked ok. Sean left for Vermillion because he didn't care for salads. The workers began to put on a show. It was awful. I was not enjoying myself. Ninja stood up to go and walked outside.

Ninja...he needed to kill. Really needed to. He wanted to kill him. The man. The dream came to mind again...My insides churned. I felt like I was being torn apart...but I said yes. Ninja...Ninja could go...He thanked me, then left. I felt sick. I took my leave of Zero and Mike, leaving them to their dates and headed outside wondering where to go. Sean was in Vermillion and Ninja was in Saffron. I couldn't go to Ninja...I definitely did not want to go back to the island...and be alone with my thoughts for who knows how long. So I went to Vermillion. I tried to conceal some of the pain that could not help but be on my face but...that didn't work out so well. Still, Sean didn't force me to talk. Although Black wanted him to. The little traitor.

Sean and I sat in a park and I told him...very little. I couldn't tell him about Ninja...that would be betraying Ninja's trust. I told him as much as possible without giving Ninja away. Sean's a nice guy. He doesn't push. I feel like I can trust him, but this wasn't my secret to trust him with. We moved on to other topics after that which cheered me a little. Kyogre, the house...even the battle styles of Zero and Ninja. Zero had brute force going for him, that much is sure, but Ninja's very...careful. He strategizes his next move with the same caution as the move before it. It had me smile to think of him...then realized this applied to more than just battling. I remember where Ninja was even now and what he was doing...because of me...Sean noticed this change of my attitude and apologized. I snapped out of it and assured him it was no fault of his. It was my fault...

We headed back to the island and found Ninja there. I..I wasn't sure if I could face him yet. I needed time to think about what I'd done...I changed out of my wet clothes and into pajamas. I went to sit by the fire. Zero had come back next. We talked about his ability to defend his title. I vaguely remember saying that I'd become champion once. Yeah. So much for that. I didn't really care to anymore. Especially now that I'd seen how Zero was going to get mobbed by admirers. Those people were straight insane. Mike actually opened up when we talked about going to America. He was going to avenger his dead brother who had died at the hands of a man who'd been called a professor. The others had seemed to have heard this story before and soon I was all caught up. Poor Mike..he had wanted Kyogre to kill the man with. Ninja mentioned this to be not the wisest course of action to stay out of jail. Ninja would know...

And then there's the Shaymin Mike caught. It was pestering Black and Whisper. The pokemon seemed ready to kill it. I just poked the fire with Black's tail and sank down into my thoughts as the others talked. It didn't involve me. The man was dead...all because of me...How could I...? His life would have been saved if he hadn't known me...If I hadn't been born...Dah...I couldn't think like this...Ninja said my name and something about a chubby dog eating my face. I jerked out of my stupor and felt the back of my head. I felt drool and Black's face. I jerked away and went to wash my hair. Ugh...Black..he could be such a pest sometimes. I loved him though.

I walked out to the beach and dunked my head under the cold waves. I ran my hands through my hair trying to comb out all of the drool. The dream still bothered me and I squeezed out my hair soon enough. But then something splashed down into the water. Mike's Shaymin. I picked it up and carried it back to the others. It jumped out of my arms and started to mock me. I wasn't sure how to react. Black snapped through and attacked the little Shaymin, but he was stopped by vines. Ninja ordered Whisper to attack it and nearly destroyed it. I was actually a little surprised that it wasn't KOed.

We talk about sleeping arrangements in the house as well. Zero would take one of the top rooms on the left and Mike would take the room on the ground floor. Which left one open for Sean on the top floor. The others wanted to know where I would sleep...and I said I was sleeping with Ninja. One thing came after another and soon enough we just told them. Ninja and I were togther...Mike seemed to take it fairly well. Zero...Zero couldn't believe it. He actually asked me if Ninja was lying. Even though I could tell when someone was lying..I could just lie to Zero and he'd never know. It took him a while, but then his attitude completely turned around and he seemed...happy...for us....I guess. I felt so awkward...and I was still trying to sort out my guilt about...the kill...

Zero and Mike eventually turned in and so did Ninja and I. Ninja was pretty tired and I was going to let him go to sleep...but he wanted to talk about it. He opened by telling it was done. I already knew that, but...it still stung. It had happened all because of me...Ninja...Ninja was worried that it was all getting to be too much for me. The killing. What he was. He told me I could leave. But...even though I didn't like it that people died...that wasn't Ninja's fault. It's just who he was. It's not like he could help that. I blamed myself for this. It was because of me that man had died and I told Ninja this. Ninja wouldn't accept that though and tried to convince me it was all his fault because he was a monster. But he...wasn't. Isn't.

This time had been me. I felt that guilt down to my core, but I couldn't let Ninja think that I was going to leave him. I tried to reassure him...and...hopefully I got my message across. We went on to talk about some lighter things and I managed to get my mind of that man...and the dream. But as we fell asleep side by side...I found I didn't want to go to sleep...I was afraid of what nightmares the night would bring...But...it's not something I can avoid. I tried that before. It was better to just deal with the dreams as they came...And so...I sank down into the murk to be met with the solitude the nightmares would bring...